It wasn’t an emergency, but you couldn’t even pretend
For my sake
I saw the film spin off the reel
The room rotate before my eyes
I tried crawling to the edge
But it kept slipping out of reach
At least I tried, at least I climbed.
It’s only insurmountable in your mind
Your catalogue of callous thoughts
And could have beens and selfish wants
You know it’s desire
That propels the human drive
You know it’s the trying
That distinguishes the better times
And we believe them, glowing from the laughter
Basking in the warmth
Sharing in the manufactured revelry
Like the feeling can be bought and boxed
And gifted
Another commodity
Another bargain chipping away at your integrity
What’s dignified about having to smile
All the time?
You once told me you wanted this
You once said you wanted me
But there’s a shadow in your shallow eyes
Deaf tone in your deadpan voice
You can hold my hand
But I don’t believe you.