Void Where Prohibited

Void where prohibited

Here you are and there you weren’t and
Where we never seem to be
I used to want it
I don’t want anything anymore
Don’t glorify me, I didn’t ask for this
I was posing, performing, projecting
Your wildest dreams, divine pieces
From a fractured puzzle
Diverging species in a convergent universe
I called out to you
Did you hear me?
Did the fog scatter the sound particles
Like chipped ice, avalanching the scenery
You think it’s white
It’s colorblind
I lied, I lied, I lied
They said it would be easy
They said it wouldn’t matter
Lay down, wake up, I don’t want this
I want purposeful action
Not stages and scenery
Crumbling, stumbling, forging ahead
I used to dream of becoming
A beautiful soul

It could have been any of us

It could have been any of us

And just like that it wasn’t my birthday
And he wasn’t dead
Or anywhere near a pit of fire
He’d achieved marginal success
At a middling career
He just found a wife, like she’d been waiting
And you were on vacation
And I was getting fucked at the bar
But I remembered the way you used to
Pay tribute to me
And I couldn’t pick a tense
It was ever present
Like the way you leave a place
When you know you’re never coming back
It’s final, but not sudden
It stings, it hangs
You carry it, bury it, unmark it
Forget it, file it, archive it, let it go,
Burn your fingerprints
You can’t hide who you are
I’ll still know
Everyone likes a secret

That place

That Place

I woke up when time stopped
It was between 3 and 4 and the lights
Were off, and you weren’t there,
As you’re usually not
And my thoughts kept going, kept ticking,
Kept revolving the Earth as she stood
Stationary on an iron axis strong enough
To withstand the abuse
Even though we keep fighting, I keep trying,
To make you see it my way
How can you not?
I keep calling you, telling you,
Showing you, begging you
I just got my life the way I want it
And the pawns are in line
And the cash is stacked
Like arbitrary overvaluation makes paper currency
There’s only currently, with still hands
And straight lines, denoting passage
And failures
The sand rolls down the sides
Like the curves just enough
To tease them
Not hold them
Stop them
Suspend them in time.

Iconoclast

Iconoclast

This is not a love letter
I’ve been breaking glass and pulling out my hair
I’m still here, I left the bed unmade,
And I didn’t shower and every time I breathe
I smell your stink
Fermenting sweat on the pillows in the sheets
In between fiction and reality
Hopes and dreams, non-existent stolen images
You’re burned in the backs of my eyelids
Every time I close them I revisit you
Draw upon the memory imagine it
embellishment , repeat it, regale it
Like this grand moment in history
Like when walls come down
And prisoners walk free and the prisons crumble
And streets decay and the infrastructure subdivides
And the movement converges
And the uprising is risen
And there’s no power left to seize
Because we’ve chased it all out
We’ve buried the past.
Would you love me?
Look at me
In your eyes we could have everything
But darling we never will.

Big magic

Big Magic

You’re like an art show, beautiful and pretentious
An overrated installation
Illuminating over rumination
On why we still want to do this
Even though we’re not supposed to do this
Didn’t you ever break the rules?
You thrill me.
Don’t analyze it, justify it, make it my shit
You’re in this too
And we’re getting out alive, if we’re lucky
Don’t pretend you don’t see this
Feel this – watch this – hear this – ignore this
Binding us into commitments
Caging us to traditions
Like this it it
This is what we’re supposed to do
And love songs aren’t drug spun
Confused confessions
Of pent up regressions
Live this truth
You’ll be my sweetest kill.

Muse

Muse

I was up all night waiting
For something, nothing, everything, anything
To stir the silence, sound the alarm,
Trigger action, beg for reaction,
I have no dynasty here
I had you once
Held captive, you’d called it
Like you know anything about prison
And what it’s like to lose your rights
Pray for forgiveness, fight for your honor
Defend your crest, because it’s code
Make a mess, then go home
You believe in nothing but you pretend
That’s not true
It’s not arrogance, you’re noble
It’s not ignorance, you’re educated
It’s not you, it’s me
Do you still love me?
No.
I can’t let it go
I displace and replace, I put space
Between us, thousands of miles, dozens of states,
And I still saw you in the daylight
Your mind is crazy and tells you lies.

There is no honor amongst thieves

There is no honor amongst thieves

She wore white and a diamond cross
Like it meant something, like tradition mattered to her,
Like she would make his coffee,
And raise his children in the church
And he was going to take care of her
And go down on her in Italy
Like it’s possible, like any of it’s possible
If you’re manipulative enough to transcend the fantasy,
Be what he’s looking her,
When he’s looking for it,
Catch him with the lights on, turn the lights off
So he won’t see who you are
What you’ve done, what you did to the others,
Meandering in the wake of the dust
From your destruction
I know what you did.
But no one listens to me.
I am wrong, I saw nothing
Unmark it forget it
Let it go, burn your fingerprints
You can’t hide who you are
I’ll still know
Everyone likes a secret.

Public relations

Public Relations

They talked, but they didn’t mention you
Cacophonous ramblings, contrived inspiration
Kick starting false starts to rally the sycophants
And make them think they’re more.
You’re more.
You’re not this image no one sees
Do you really think they see anything
Besides their glorified selves, their personas?
They’re intrigued at how much more they can be
In the eyes of someone else who has nothing
Take more, give less
Convince the useless they have use,
In this one specific setting
Feed them fluoride, make them docile,
Pet their heads and shear their wool
So they all look the same
And they won’t be hot in the summer
That keeps getting longer,
But we don’t talk about that,
Don’t talk about anything of substance
Just idle talk, over me, over you
I will be heard, I won’t be drowned out,
I won’t follow you
But when you live in the zoo,
You have to feed the animals

Radon

Radon

I left my lighter on the gas stove
And I got in line behind some parked cars
And I couldn’t tell the difference between 2013 and 2014
I couldn’t remember when it happened
When it started, when it unraveled, when it came together,
When it was easy, when it was not,
What year it was, what season it was,
Why there was ice in March
And how people can hate people they don’t know at all
Or people they used to love
And what love really was
And why the definition mattered
And why my heart beat for you, froze for you,
Broke you, called for you, and you didn’t answer
Or you didn’t hear
You definitely heard
You always hear me, I am sirens, I am harmony
I am the flicker of lights when no one’s home
The shadow no one sees
The smell of gas when the stove’s off.

L’ame du vin

L'ame du vin

The singing soul of this red wine won’t leave the shapely glass
No matter how big my gulp, her pure soul rests, contented
Her music notes ricochet around the frosted vessel
I place my ear to the opening and let the waves of sound
Splash me with the echo.
The second transcription of her beautiful song
No more wine in the bottle.
No more lubricating liquid to grease our jaws for
Conversation, consummation, intoxicated as we ever were
Singing wines beautiful words
But the lyrics fall flat and joyless
Onto the shredded neurons of my shards of brain
Striving so hard to coagulate
Amongst the other living corpses
Devoid of souls, and full of sounds.