We all must kill something beautiful and I choose you
And this thing
These things, that do not need to happen
This ill-fated semblance of devotion
That my empty words convinced you could exist
Stray paths pointed out the ghosts that lurked in the shadows last night and perhaps a few times before
Are only apparitions, phantoms skulking in our peripherals
While liquid courage demands each other’s
Undivided attention. And I wonder
What it would be like
And you wonder
If it would be nice
If I weren’t a thinly veiled chimera though beautiful and stoned
But maybe you don’t think me so
Or maybe you’ve noticed and chosen
To disregard the glaring beacons of falsehood and duplicity
Through the darkness you dip into my abyss
And you grind your teeth because you know
This intrusion is not limited to only our occasion.

For e.e. Cummings

ee cummings

I carry your heart, I carry it with my heart
Do you carry my heart?
Do you have a heart?
What fills that gaping cavity, just a bloody organ pumping aimlessly. Do you look ahead? What do you see? Do I get to come with? Am I part of your plans? Or am I the familiar commodity you pack and take with every time you move like a misplaced knick knack. You don’t want it, your mother likes it, you don’t see a need to throw it away where can you find another piece to replace this jagged puzzle put together just so. Just keep me with the other misfit furniture in this hand me down collection until you can afford to trade up. And where will I be? On the used car lot? Gleaming at every perspective eye winking my blinker as they pass, honking my horn.
Or is this make and model too outdated too overdated too battered and used for even the selection of rejection on the conveyor belt I rest my engine’s useless the steering wheel’s locked, no defense against my impending impound
I smolder into the ground.

Say it ain’t snow

Say it ain't snow

The winter blues has got everyone searching for someone new
Fighting through the pain of first date pleasantries
Oh that’s so interesting
Oh you’re so different
But you’re not
You’re just like everyone else
In love with someone who doesn’t love you back
Going through the motions
Trying to feel something
Trying to make something
Out of sad mutual nothingness
Trying to stay warm
When everything’s so cold

New year, old me

New year old me

We always say it’s Day 1
It’s so much easier to make it Day 1 instead of Day 2
IT’s a new day, or new week, a new year
Anything to wipe the slate clean, and forgive us our sins, and start over, and be born again
Leave all our remorse and regret behind
Like it’s a past life, like it was just a bad dream, like those people we hurt won’t remember, like those crimes won’t count because the police weren’t looking
But you never keep your resolution, but you only superficially change
You’re still bitter and broken and no amount of band aids or therapy will put you back together.
There’s no pill for this
No potion to make us good
We’re evil and delusional and we’re singing Auld Lang Syne and lanking glasses to a Happy New Year
But midnight’s just a time
And Day 1 is just Day 2 in disguise