Eye opener

You’re not like me
And that’s fair
You don’t feel this in your chest, on your skin, in the corner with your back up against the wall
And everyone just keeps going, autonomously, like it helps
Like it quells the burning pit in my stomach, pulsating, generating the reminder that
I’m really here
And I really can’t stop it
We all pretend like it’s not there,
With countdowns and fleeting legacies
And I wanted you to change that
And not ask me what I did
Or
Why I did it
Or how I come up with these dark questions
Pushing my limits
Blending my consciousness
A slow drip
Until I forget all about it and set my clock and paint my nails
And get in line
Like the order soothes me
Sequential serenity, scrolling ticker tape
I dreamt you were there
Or were you?
I get on, still, without you