A Memoir

I used to lie about it, construct an alternate backstory
Where it all made some sort of sense
But there’s no fireflies in Florida and
What they did was wrong
And you don’t get to atone your wrongs
With a new scene
A shorter sentence
Relieve you of penance
Like this is all okay
It’s not. It’s gotten worse
I’m getting older
Closer to lines drawn and signatures
You have to give it up
I don’t forgive you.
I don’t have to.
We can coexist, in separate dimensions
Away from that night
And that other one
And all those things we used to do
That didn’t seem so bad at the time
When everyone’s still left
Is it worse to survive this? Advocate it?
Pledge allegiance? Endorse?
I never wanted to go through with it
I liked to watch
The way I was raised, you could take a little,
As long as you didn’t take a lot.

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