Christmas

I have always been like this
I wish I could tell you there was a
Particular person, a specific event,
That drove me off course, triggered the force
To unfurl this spiral down which
I descend
I wish I could lay blame
Reclaim what I was like
When I was the girl I could have been
Maybe it was a little because of you
Maybe it was because of that thing
That happened in front of Francesca’s on Taylor Street
You shook the glass for no reason
Rattled the building the window wavered
But it did not break
And I wondered if you were getting worse
Or if we were just starting to notice
The layered despair, this unavoidable catastrophe
Guys like you always seem to father daughters.