Alaska

I could taste it in my teeth
Beleaguered indecision back and forth
Greeting cards and grocery store flowers
Won’t offset this desperate situation
You know she’s dying? We’re all dying
Trying to pretend it’s not happening
Hasn’t happened already
Send sunshine, send money
They said starve the ego feed the soul
Pretend you didn’t see
Pretend you don’t know I’ve been watching you,
Reading about you
Clipping the articles, pressing the newspaper
Wrapped up in the narrative, arcing the action
Aching for what it was
What it could have been
Leave me alone
Get out
Seal the envelope
Bury the message
Cut off correspondence
It’s eating away at me, I’ve got acid in my lungs
I’m morphing, I’ve got problems,
I don’t believe you cared
I don’t believe you knew what was going on
I don’t believe it happened
These small pieces to this big puzzle
We’ve all been trying to put together and the cardboard is wet and they won’t lock together
And I’m not a good person
And everyone knows it.